Tales from Puerto Rico- Day 1

I recently returned from a week of fun in the sun in Puerto Rico, and it's time to recant the merriment. Tom, Michelle, Julie and I had no problems flying down. From Minneapolis to Atlanta I listened to the 80s station (XM radio on the plane) and our group basically had the back 1/3 of the plane to ourselves from Atl to P.R. Tom mentioned "Snakes on a Plane" before we took off, so I basically had this stuck in my head for the rest of the trip.

Our first destination was "Aleli by the Sea" in Condado. It wasn't fancy, basically just enough room in the place for a few beds and a shower to wash the sand off our feet. It was right off the beach, though, so we spent the rest of our day throwing the disc around on the beach and splashing around in the ocean.

That evening we wandered out for dinner and it started to drizzle. For some reason, a ton of restaurants were closed on Tuesdays. We found one place to duck into that was part ice-cream shop, part restaurant. Sitting on the balcony, we enjoyed some tostados, which were mashed up and fried plantains. They were kinda tasteless- almost like fried... breading? Fried mashed potatoes? Whatever, we dipped them in the mayo ketchup and washed it down with the local beer Medalla.

Outside the rain started coming down a little harder, and across the street where a building was under construction a generator or transformer or something was shooting off sparks. It was a neat show and then BOOM! It exploded! It sounded like a gun went off and the group jumped as the waiter happily delivered another round of Medallas and exclaimed, "Happy 4th of July!"Dinner and a show!

Later during the meal it exploded again. A truck came out to check it out and fix some downed power lines, and as we finished our meal our waiter said, "They fixed it up, Puerto Rico style. It'll be good until tomorrow, just don't touch it!" By then the rain had stopped and we made our way back to our lodging for some cards (and more Medalla), noting that some transformers immediately outside our balcony were sparking a bit too, and then concluded the day with a night stroll along the beach.

Tales from Puerto Rico- Day 2, Part 1

Day 2 we were awakened by the sound of construction and trucks backing up (BEEP, BEEP, BEEP) and made our way to the bus stop intending to check out Old San Juan. We waited quite a long time and the bus never came. Restaurants are closed on Tuesday, buses don't run Wednesday. So we took a cab and explored the city. There are two forts in Old San Juan: San Cristobal and San Felipe. At San Cristobal I climbed atop a stack of cannon balls, tried to lock Julie and Michelle in a dungeon in the tunnels under the fort, and got a good view over Old San Juan.


We could've taken a trolley over to San Felipe, but it was a pretty nice day, so we walked across a huge open field, from which we could see the Bacardi factory. After a rest on the grass, we checked out San Felipe, "El Muro" ("The Wall"). I thought this would be a sweet nickname, but my traveling buddies refused to acknowledge me as "El Muro". After exploring the second fort we grabbed lunch and went back to Condado to meet Tim whose plane had just arrived in Puerto Rico.

Tales from Puerto Rico- Day 2, Part 2

We joined up with Tim and his rental car and headed off to catch the World Baseball Classic game, Netherlands vs. the hometown team. Unfortunately we didn't have enough time to make "Circle me Bert" signs.

The streets were jammed, and it took awhile to find some parking, plus the drivers in Puerto Rico are crazy! This old lady refused to let us merge into a turn lane, so Tim forced his way in there, and she immediately swerved out and pulled up along side our car and yelled, "GOD BLESS YOU! I will come to your country and do that to YOU!" And then she drove away. Thanks, crazy old lady!

Outside the stadium fans were trying to get in. There were hundreds of fans merging into the two open windows for will call tickets. Tom and Michelle braved the crowd while the rest of the group stood back and enjoyed the chaos of it all. When we finally got in it was clear that there were more bleacher seat tickets sold than there were actual bleacher seats. O well. We just joined the rest of the crowd in the aisles and stood and clapped and sang and cheered for pretty much the entire game. Puerto Rico was ahead the entire game, and Netherlands never really threatened, but when their team was in the field the crowd was ecstatic with every routine out, and when their team was at bat they went even crazier with every routine hit. I think Michelle and Julie were on ESPN at one point.

In the end, Puerto Rico won 5-0, the Puerto Rican team marched around and waved to the crowd, and there were fireworks. 2-for-2 with the explosions!

Tales from Puerto Rico- Days 3 and 4

Thursday we woke up in peace- no construction on Thursdays. Madalla had gotten us this far, but it was time to turn things up a notch. Off to the Bacardi factory! There were really just three buildings there: gift shop/bar/sign in desk, visitor's center, and the factory itself. We signed up for the tour and got our drink tickets and then were shuffled onto a trolley to take us a short distance to the visitor's center. There we saw some mosaics depicting Christopher Columbus and some pirates being drunken rum fanatics, then a video about the Bacardi family, then some replica barrels and smelled some eau de rum. We were taught about the ingredients in a Mojito and a Cuba Libre, and then jumped back on the trolley. Here we rolled towards the factory and the guide said, "On your left is the Bacardi factory" and then we drove straight back to the gift shop! Nice tour! O well, it was free, and then we each got two free drinks at the bar. I had an "Ultimo" Cuba Libre (12-yr-old Bacardi Rum and Coke, as opposed to the regular Cuba Libre with regular Bacardi), and then a Bacardi cocktail (Bacardi Limon, 7Up and cranberry juice).

After the tour we bought some Bacardi and took a ferry back to Old San Juan and wandered around a bit for lunch. We had some mufongo, which is a mushier way to enjoy fried plantains (also pretty tasteless). After that we just enjoyed some more Frisbee on the beach and then jumping around the waves. The waves were pretty huge, and it was fun (and painful sometimes) to duck under them and get pushed back to shore, or to jump and be lifted up by them. It felt like I had a huge vertical. After that we picked up Marie from the airport, grabbed dinner, and then went to a bar where a live band was playing. They mixed in some U2 and Lenny Kravitz among their Spanish rockin'.

Friday there was an explosion outside (3 for 4!) as whatever was sparking from Tuesday night finally blew. Cool. We checked out of Aleli by the Sea and headed off for Luquillo. This setup was pretty sweet. We had a little apartment that, again, looked right at the beach. I'm pretty sure we spent that day on the beach, in the water, and drinking rum. Not much to report, but a fun day anyway.

Tales from Puerto Rico- Day 5, Part 1

Saturday started with a trip to "El Yunque", the local rain forest. I later learned that "El Yunque" means "The Anvil" (another good nickname?). We spent many hours hiking around the anvil. Lots of rocks and trees and green. We heard plenty of birds and frogs but didn't really see any wildlife. Tim and I would hear frog and/or bird noises and imitate it back by whistling. By the end of the day we were pretty sure that tourists were just in different parts of the rain forest whistling at each other, thinking that birds or animals were responding.

We climbed a ton, and got to the top of a few peaks. I left my camera back at the apartment but the crew took some swell photos. I think they make it look cloudier than it really was, and don't truly capture how high we really hiked. We were able to get a grand view of Puerto Rico and the entire rain forest.
Making our way down from the peaks took awhile, but then we found our way to the waterfalls and splashed around a bit. I only dipped my legs in- It was cold!

Tales from Puerto Rico- Day 5, Part 2, and the rest

After the rain forest we grabbed some grub and prepared to meet Dave and Glady (some amigos also in Puerto Rico! Bonus!) for a night kayak adventure. This was my favorite part of the whole trip. I was a bit nervous because I haven't really kayaked ever, but the water was calm and pretty shallow, so no problems there. We paddled through a pretty narrow creek into the bioluminescent bay. Here there are a bunch of algae things that light up whenever they're touched. they do this because shimp feed on them, and when they feel movement they light up so that the fish will swim over and eat the fish, thereby saving the little glowing algae from the shrimp. In this bay, anytime you paddled or splashed or moved, the water would light up. Then you could also see glowing streaks shoot through the water as fish swam through the water or when shrimp scattered. It was like seeing/causing fireworks in the water! (Kind of explodey. I'm counting it. 4/5 days.) Tim had some photos of us kayakers, but I need to get those from him still. That night my arms and shoulders were pretty sore from paddling (and using my paddle to accidentally/constantly splash Marie and Julie).

After that it was pretty unadventurous. I had a cold and stayed pretty grounded on Sunday- getting in a long nap and staying pretty much in the apartment. It was rainy in the morning and evening anyway, so I only missed out on the sunny afternoon, and I got in some reading.

Monday, with better health, we checked out and headed back to Condado. We managed to find a good deal at the Hilton Caribe, so had a pretty swank location for the remainder of the vacation. They had parrots in the foyer, and swans and peacocks roaming around the garden. In the water was a giant trampoline, and a giant iceberg/climbing wall thing. You climbed up the side and then could slide or jump off. We watched a kid slip and do a total belly flop on Monday, which was hilarious. Tuesday morning Tom slipped off and nearly landed on my head, which was less funny. Again, the pic doesn't do justice to the size (that's me lying on the top). Pretty fun though, as Monday and Tuesday were sunny and perfect for goofing around in the water. I put sunscreen on every day in Puerto Rico, but missed a spot on Tuesday and now have a red streak on my belly. O well, it was worth it. I'm sure I forgot some stories over the week, but I think you got most of the highlights. Hooray for a great vacation!

Shotguns defeat zombies. Zombies defeat hiccups.

So a few weeks ago my frisbee team was at the bar and someone had to sneeze and another person said, "Put your arms up!" And we were all like, "What?" and they said "Yeah, you put your arms up for sneezes and your arms straight forward if you have the hiccups!"

At first I thought he was just making that up, but then I thought, Hey, man, have I ever seen a zombie with hiccups? F**k no, I haven't. And you know why? Because they hold their arms out straight forward!

That was a couple weeks ago. Just a minute ago I started to hiccup. I hiccupped once, hiccupped twice, remembered to hold my arms out like a zombie, AND THE HICCUPS STOPPED! Hooray for zombies.