During the opening credits we get brief clips from 14/11/7 years ago about robotic advancements for the physically disabled and how that evolved into people buying these surrogate robots just for funzies. Basically they plug into a chair like The Matrix, and they can walk around as beautiful robots. A newscaster informs us that since everyone started using surrogates in the real world, crime and health problems and racism are nearly non-existant. There are a few surrogate-free zones of people who are against other people plugging into machines, and Ving Rhames is their leader.
The credits end and we're brought to "today". A kid is riding around in a limo and goes to a club where everyone is super hot and he starts making out with a girl. A motorcyclist attacks them with a gun that shoots lightning bolts and melts their eyeballs and memory chips. Surrogate Bruce Willis is a cop and shows up to investigate. Surrogate Bruce Willis looks the same as regular Bruce Willis, except he has a silly hairpiece on (I'm going to call him SBW now).
SBW goes to check out the girl's "user" and finds a dead body (with exploded eyeballs). The cops are all freaked because in theory if your surrogate dies, the user is NOT supposed to die because of some failsafe mechanisms. (In this way, it is the opposite of The Matrix.... so it's original). SBW returns home and plugs into his charging station, and real-life Bruce Willis unplugs himself from his chair. Bruce walks around and wishes his "real" wife would talk to him, but she only walks around as her surrogate self.
The next day they find the guy user who was with the girl and he's dead with melted eyeballs too. Turns out he was the son of Canter, the guy who first invented surrogates. The motorcyclist was actually trying to kill Canter, but killed his son by mistake. SBW goes to talk to real Canter, but only talks to surrogate Canter. Canter says he has lots of surrogates.
SBW goes to Virtual Self Inc. to figure out how an operator could die when the surrogate dies. They say that can't happen, and show some surrogates that the army uses. I'm confused why we need army surrogates since the newslady at the beginning told me there was peace because everyone was using surrogates, but whatever.
SBW talks to a police friend who monitors the whole world with his computers by using some surrogates and computers to track all the surrogates. It's kinda like what Batman had Lucius set up for him with the cellphones in The Dark Knight. He demonstrates how he can disconnect/shut down a surrogate remotely to stop any crimes. They use this system to find the motorcyclist who has the lightning eye-melty gun.
SBW chases him and a bunch of cops get shot with the melty gun and die. The motorcyclist shoots the helicopter SBW is in, but Bruce unplugs from his surrogate just in time so he doesn't die. The helicopter crashes, and real Bruce Willis plugs back in, and SBW is all beat up from the crash. He only has one arm now, so it looks like Terminator 2. He chases the murderer, but some of the anti-robot people shoot SBW, so now Bruce Willis has to go through the rest of the movie as the "real" Bruce Willis (no more bad hair piece!) He's a little disoriented because he's not used to walking around as a real person since he mostly lives everyday through his surrogate. Ving Rhames then takes the lightning gun and kills the motorcyclist.
Then Canter tells Bruce to go after the lightning gun. Bruce goes back home and his wife is having a party where surrogates are shocking themselves with a bong that shoots lightning. Bruce yells at his wife, "How long have you been jacking?!" which is a ripoff of a Futurama episode where Bender jacks into all sorts of things. Then Bruce punches off the robot face of one of the surrogates. This was funny, and had nothing to do with anything.
Bruce looks over some files and sees that the army ended its contract with Canter, who was not only the surrogate creator, but also the creator of the lightning gun. Apparently the gun was designed to stop surrogates but it had a bug that gets by the failsafes and kills the users, and all of the lightning guns were supposed to be destroyed, but they weren't. Then Bruce Willis' partner is murdered (in real life... her surrogate is still okay) by some new bad guy. The bad guy then takes Bruce Willis' partner's surrogate.
Bruce goes to his wife's beauty shop, where she peels off a surrogate's face to remold or something. She says, "I'm going to take your face off!" in almost the exact same way that Nic Cage said it in the movie Face Off. The army goes after Ving Rhames, the leader of the anti-surrogate people, and they shoot him and find out that HE'S a surrogate! then we find out that he's one of Canter's surrogates!!
Then Bruce Willis talks to the chief of police and accuses him of originally having the lightning gun and attempting to murder Canter. I have no idea why the police chief is all of a sudden the bad guy, but he is. Bruce Willis stabs the police cheif in the back of the head to steal some files and then runs away. Bruce Willis' partner then turns on him (because she's really dead and is being driven by a bad guy), and she tries to steal those files that Bruce Willis just stole. There is actually a pretty cool action scene here, where they give the surrogate lady all sorts of crazy jumping moves while Bruce repeatedly tries to hit her with his car. He runs over a whole bunch of innocent surrogates, and she jumps over a bunch of cars while in her high heels. It's excellent.She gets away and goes to the bat computer with the intention of killing everyone who is plugged into a surrogate (which is basically everyone on the planet). The surrogate police chief shows up, and she fries him with the lightning gun. Bruce Willis goes to see Canter and finds out that he's the one driving his partner's surrogate, so now he's really the bad guy. Canter uses Bruce's partner's surrogate to start the countdown on the computer, then he kills himself. Bruce then jumps into his partner's surrogate and hits CTRL + ALT + Delete which fixes the computer so that no one will die when the surrogates shut down. He then has to make the decision to save everyone's surrogates, or let them all malfunction. He decides to let them all malfunction, essentially carrying out Canter's evil plan for him, except without killing everyone on the planet.
Because they all malfunction, all the surrogate people stop working and fall down. The last few minutes of the movie is literally just watching beautiful people fall down stairs. BWAHAHAHAHA! This was great. I watched this scene about eight or nine times and just laughed my ass off. Totally worth the $1 rental! Real people unplug themselves and go outside and squint at the sun, and Bruce goes home and sees his real wife, and a news reporter announces that the systems are down, and we're all on our own. I think the moral of the story was "Don't help the disabled." THE END!
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