24: It's Over!

Previously, on 24...

Before the show officially starts, we get a message from Kiefer Sutherland thanking the fans for our support and enthusiasm. Kiefer isn't torturing anyone as he says this, so I should've known tonight's finale was going to be a letdown.

The show opens with Cole tracking down Jack's buddy, who sees Cole coming and erases his computers. Since the journalist was arrested, the only evidence that exists against the Russians is the recording Jack got off of Logan. Logan heads off to the UN and his right-hand man Pillar still has the task of finding Bauer. Bauer gets to Pillar first, hiding in his car and forcing Pillar to sneak him past the peace treaty security. He also makes Pillar sew up his knife wound. Gross. Jack is about to execute Pillar but then decides to knock him out and throw him in a car instead. Jack then goes to set up shop across the street from the UN. He's got a sniper rifle.

Inside the UN, Mrs. Hassan gives President Taylor a present that Omar Hassan was saving for her. It's a pen with some "we love peace" crap engraved on it. I desperately hoped that Jack would end up using the pen to stab someone. Kayla Hassan then talks to Mrs. Hassan and says that the journalist was trying to reach them about Omar's real killers. Mrs. Hassan goes to talk to President Taylor, but Taylor ignores her. Mrs. Hassan says she'll refuse to sign the peace treaty if they don't find the journalist. Taylor confesses that the Russians are behind the murder. Mrs. Hassan says she's going to leave the peace treaty and report Taylor to the UN. Taylor says she'll deny it, show that the IRK tried to detonate a nuclear bomb earlier in New York, and the U.S. military will strike back at her country. This was the best scene involving President Taylor ever because she finally wasn't acting all wishy-washy for a change. She was just being evil!

Across the street Jack sets his sniper sights on President Logan, and gives him a call, telling him that he'll kill Logan if he doesn't call the Russian president into his office. I was yelling "KILL HIM! KILL HIM!" the whole time. Arlo finds out that Jack is across the street and Chloe goes to try and stop Jack. Agent Ortiz is in charge of security and says that if he doesn't hear back from Chloe in 20 minutes, he'll sound the alarm and take Jack down. Chloe finds Jack, but Jack takes her down with a sleeper hold. Yuri heads up to Logan's office.

Jack is getting ready to finally assassinate the man who ordered the hit on Renee, but then Chloe comes to and says that she can get the recording out to the media despite President Taylor's hold on the presses. She says that if he kills Yuri, the Russians will see it as an act of war, and Renee wouldn't want that. Me yelling: "KILLLLLL HIMMMM!!!!"

Ortiz dispatches his men with shoot to kill orders to take down Jack. Jack finally listens to Chloe (Booooo) and puts his gun down, but now they need to get Chloe out of the building with the data card. Jack knows that she can't just walk out, so he makes her promise to do what he says. He tells Chloe to shoot him so that the agents storming the building won't kill him, and so that she can walk away with the evidence against Logan, Taylor and the Russians. Jack was yelling at Chloe to shoot him, but she couldn't, and he yelled "WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!" but she still couldn't shoot him, so he drew a gun on her, but she STILL couldn't shoot him, so her held the gun to his head and was about to kill himself and then BOOM, Chloe shot him in the shoulder. This scene was awesome, but with Jack down it pretty much guaranteed that there'd be no more kills. Sigh. Everything went downhill from there.

Pillar is found in the car and he stops Chloe from leaving the building. He tries to get Chloe to give up anything that Jack gave her, and Chloe shrugs and says, "I just shot my friend, sooo..." Pillar lets her leave but then decides he wants her stopped and Jack, now being patched up on a gurney, gets Pillar's attention and BITES HIS EAR OFF! Ugh. Pillar catches Chloe and puts her and Ortiz in lockdown, and gets the datacard to Logan. Jack is also locked down by CTU.

Logan gives the datacard to Taylor for some reason, and tells her that the only thing left to do is kill Bauer so that he doesn't come after them. WHY DID LOGAN GIVE HER THE DATACARD? It makes no fricking sense. He's worried about covering up his tracks and eliminating the evidence, and he just gives it to the President?!?! Why not destroy it? Oh, 24, I will miss your non-sensical ways.

It's time for the peace treaty to finally be signed. Yuri signs, Mrs. Hassan signs, and President Taylor (while holding the special peace pen from Omar Hassan) decides NOT to sign the treaty. Earlier when Taylor was acting all evil, I actually enjoyed her character. Now I hate her again, and maintain my position that she is the worst 24 president ever. I HATE her back and forth bulls#!t character. In season 7, all she did EVERY 20 MINUTES was say "I don't know if I trust Jack," "I trust Jack completely," "I don't know if I trust Jack," "I trust Jack completely!" It drove me insane. Now this season she has to has to do the right thing, then can't bring herself to do that, then has to do the right thing, then wants to do the evil thing, then wants to do the right thing. Note my use caps: I HATE HER SO MUCH, ARRRGHGHFUCGHGUH!

While she was holding the friendship pen trying to decide if she should sign or not, I was rooting for her to sign it and just stay evil, because at that point, Jack had already lost Renee, lost the evidence he gave to the reporter, had NOT shot Logan, had NOT shot Yuri, and had lost the evidence he gave to Chloe. Just let the bad guys win at this point, and Jack can bust out of the CTU ambulance and get sweet revenge killing everyone. Instead, she changes her mind, and it's like, "Whoops! Sorry we screwed you, Jack! (and Omar Hassan) Haha, that's my bad!"

While Taylor giggles, "my bad", she suddenly remembers that they put a hit on Jack. She tries to call Logan to call it off, but he won't answer the phone. Pillar tries to answer the phone, so Logan kills him with a bottle of booze. Maybe the stupidest kill of the season - the last one we'll ever get on 24. Logan is so afraid of Bauer that he has to kill Pillar I guess. Logan then shoots himself. I thought this was a good thing, but it turns out he doesn't even die. WHAT THE HELL, 24? What is the point of keeping Logan alive? You don't let Bauer kill him, but at least let him commit suicide. Instead, the medics say he'll have brain damage. Great! So, if Jack ever wanted to get revenge on Logan, he'd be hunting down someone with brain damage, which isn't very sporting. I've said before how I want Jack Bauer to kill the writers, but I think they all have brain damage too.

Taylor releases Chloe and tells her to find Jack using the CTU drones. They find video of the ambulance attack, where agents were wounded (not killed - GRRRRR!), and track it to wherever they took Jack to execute him. Chloe uses technology to get President Taylor on the phone with the gunmen and she tells them to stand down and drive away. Taylor then tells Jack that she didn't sign the treaty and she'll be resigning and facing the consequences of her actions, but so must he (killing Novakovich, etc.). She suggest he flee the country, and says that the Russians and the U.S. will be looking for him. Jack then stays on the line to talk to Chloe. He tells her to protect his family and thanks her for having his back, then he runs off into the distance and season 8 comes to an end. If this sets up a movie where Jack kills Yuri, then I'm okay with it. If not, then the "no revenge for Jack" angle really sucks.

Today's kill count: Logan: 1 (Pillar). Yep. That's the explosive 2 hour finale. 1 awful kill.

SEASON KILL TOTALS:
Bad Guys (53)
Logan: 1
Logan's fake terrorists: 9
Fahrad Hassan, Terin, Johan and their gang: 18
Dana Walsh: 5
Vladimir: 1
Sergei, Joseph and his goons: 6
Davros and his goons: 9
Blackmailer guy: 1
Russian sniper assassin: 3

Good Guys (52)
Omar Hassan: 1
Random good guys/cops: 2
Renee Walker: 4
Cole Ortiz: 6
Jack Bauer: 39 (WINNER!)

Bad guys killed more people than good guys, but plenty of those kills were bad guys killing other bad guys. Grand total of 105 dead (4.375 deaths per hour). I'm exhausted, and now need to find a new TV show to yell at. To summarize what Jack basically said to end the series, "PEACE! I'm outta here!"