Post-Gladiator comments

I just watched the first installment of AG, and I'm glad I had a book with me. It had some entertaining moments, but even if you think this is the best show ever, you still get 5 minutes of commercials between the 30 second competitions. I got a lot of reading done.

Hellga was a bust. I plopped down on the coach at 8:00, and she didn't compete until about 9:15. In that competition, the Gauntlet, the two challengers just ran right by her, and that was all we saw of Hellga all night. She didn't send anyone to Valhalla! Disappointing. I think she's just too big to compete in most of the events. I was surprised she wasn't involved in the Hit and Run game, where Gladiators toss 100 lb silver nutsacks at challengers trying to cross a bridge. Wouldn't Hellga be ideal for this, being the biggest, strongest female Gladiator? I don't get it.

Wolf kept howling to the crowd, which was annoying. Titan called him a girl at one point. Militia got hurt and wasn't seen again, but he's a pretty weak Gladiator if you ask me. Toa is hilarious because he shakes around and goes, "Oooga-booga-booga!"

As for Hulk Hogan, I think I'd rather have Mark Summers of Double Dare fame as a host. AG is a souped-up "physical challenge!" Give me Mark Summers! Hulk's pretty great on the mic: "Well, brother, you did great, brother! Tell me, brother, are you ready for the next event, brother?"

Another thing I questioned was the final event- the Eliminator. How come there aren't any Gladiators in this event? In the old version didn't they at least stand behind a wall as a road block or something? They aren't involved at all in the final event. Contestents fell down A LOT, and it was funny, but I gotta say, the old Eliminator was better. The new version has a weird barrel roll thing that just looks stupid. At least they remained consistent in that the toughest part of anything is the cargo net that they have to climb up.

The other highlights included the little Asian competitor riding his jousting stick like a pony after Mayhem got disquilified. Mayhem got disqualified twice in the Joust. I wonder if they'll show the Gladiator's win-loss record in future shows. The best line of the night was when Justice knocked someone down in the Gauntlet and the announcer said, "Justice was served... facially!"

Two competitors sustained injuries. One girl cut her face open in the Eliminator hitting it on a burning iron beam. The other girl just twisted her ankle or something and couldn't stay in the competition (I think she was taken down by Stealth, who I had deemed lamest pre-show Gladiator). So, she got hurt playing Powerball, which is the game where you try and dunk a ball in a basket while Gladiators try and tackle you. It's full-contact basketball for short people. I think I'd be okay at this event since it's one of those ones that require speed over strength. When the girl went down, the other person had to face all three Gladiators by herself. So this makes me think, if I was in this competition, could I take a half step and go down like I was injured, and then while the three Gladiators turned to face the other challenger I could grab two basketballs and quick dunk them in the baskets? 6-nothing, if you ask me! I'll try that next time I'm on the show.

I'm putting WAY too much thought into this. Some fun moments, but I don't need to clear my schedule for future episodes. I think that if I had a lot of ironing to do and nothing else was on TV while I was ironing, then I'd watch American Gladiators. Most Extreme Elimination Challenge is better. (Feel free to share your thoughts on Hogan, event strategies, the Gladiators or whatever).